Then I got a call from my mom saying she wouldn't be home soon since my dad took my little brother Aaron to the hospital since he couldn't breathe. I panicked. This was the third time in the past five months that Aaron was rushed off to the emergency room. The first time was bad food poisoning, and by bad, I mean bad. Like "throw up just one more time and we'll have to get your stomach pumped" bad. The second time was for bronchitis, landing Aaron a week long date with an inhaler and two heavy duty prescriptions. This being the third, I couldn't help but freak out. He's my only sibling, and I know at times I deserve less then the perfect sister award, but I can't help but to worry. Especially since his hardcore bronchitis was only about three weeks prior. My biggest worry was the thought that his bronchitis had struck him hard, in the form of pneumonia .
It was the bronchitis that struck Aaron so hard, but thankfully it stayed in the form of bronchitis. A stronger version then before, but still bronchitis. Something that if kept controlled and properly taken care of will have little to no effect on my little brother in the long-run.
If I was put in the same situation as Aaron would I worry nearly as much about myself than I did for him? Would he worry at all about me? I see Aaron as my kid sibling. At seven years old he still seems like four to me. I can't help but worry about him, especially with our large eight year age gap. I find myself almost neurotic to a point, even when he has play dates I want to make sure he doesn't get hurt. And for that reason, why should he worry about me? I'm his big sister. I protect him, not the other way around. I'm strong and fifteen years old. As I heard one of his friends say to him on the playground "You're sister's in high school? Thats so... old!" With such a large age gap he can't help but think that I'm invincible, a tough teenager, nothing can harm me. I'm super sister.
I wonder if I can ever get to the point with Aaron where I can watch him do something stupid, but let him make the decision because he's old enough. Will my eight years matter when I'm 48 and he's 40? I think not, but I think the emotional attachment to being super sister won't ever go away. Aaron definitely doesn't see me as a mother but I see similarities between our relationship that I can see in a child-parent relationship. My constant protecting him, his image of me being so superhuman, my incapability to let him make a decision.
I always like being super sister, but sometimes I just wish he was my own age so I could have the same sister-brother relationship that a lot of my peers have.
i have the same relationship with my little sister. i'm like her second mom. not because my parents aren't good parents or whatever but because i'm "super-sister". it bothers me sometimes when she only asks me for help when there are 5 members of my family. one time my dad was in a rush and yelled out, "Kalli go take care of your kid!" when my sister was running around the mall like a maniac. but enough of that.... i really hope that your brother gets better soon.
ReplyDeleteYay, I'm not the only one! And thank-you.
ReplyDeleteditto. i hope aaron gets better soon!
ReplyDeletei feel like i'm aaron in your situation. my brothers constantly call me to see if i'm ok, if i want dinner, or if i need a ride somewhere. when i was little, they took the loud toys out of my play area when i was trying to sleep because they cared about me, and i took it as they wanted it for themselves.
i care for my brothers & i think aaron will care for you once he's a little older to grasp the concept of responsibility :)