Not "living in the past" was brought up today. I thought, Hey! Maybe I am living in the past!

I'm not living in the past. When I really thought about it, none of my recent behavior indicates me living in the past. So what didn't make sense is why I was so quick to believe that I was.

You know why I kept telling myself that was the reason? It's because I wanted to give myself a reason, any reason, for my recent behavior. You could of told me I was sad because my pet gargoyle died and angry because my evil step-mother is the one who killed it, and I may have believed you. I ignore the fact that I don't have a pet gargoyle or a evil step-mother (or even a regular step-mother) and I give myself a reason.

It's been a shit year so far. I've been denying it for weeks, but it's true. I've just kind of been in a slump, and I wish I knew what put me in it. Knowing why things happen doesn't necessarily make it a whole lot easier to fix anything, but when you have a reason for why things are the way they are you're at least assured that you're not going insane.

Well, maybe all this over analyzation of my own mind is what's going to drive me insane.

Procrastination

It's a major character flaw, and it comes in the way of almost everything I want. I won't give you any of that "take me or leave me" bullshit because I'm almost positive that there's another version of me walking the streets, and if that version of me isn't a procrastinator I would probably take her and leave me.

It's not something I like. I hate it. I spend days procrastinating - watching movies I've never really wanted to see or online shopping for shoes I really don't need. I can't even enjoy these meaningless tasks because the whole time I'm thinking of the essay I should be writing or the book i should be reading (erm, The Empty Space).

It's a horrible disorder that I would not wish upon anyone. After you've wasted a large amount of time, you try and squeeze days worth of work into three hours (usually from about 1 AM - 4 AM). You stress yourself out for weeks worrying about when you're going to get off your ass and start, and then you end the process with a truck full of "THIS NEEDS TO GET DONE NOW."

It's in my way. Step One - rid procrastination. Step Two - take over the world. That's really all there is to it.

Tell No One

Tell No One is one of those movies that leaves you with butterflies in your stomach. The same kind of butterflies you get when you see your crush in the hallway. The love butterflies. And while it's not the same brand of love, I'm definitely in love with Tell No One.

I don't even want to talk about the plot twist. (Or rather, plot twists). The fact that I didn't even see the last plot twist coming is enough to get me to love this movie. I usually know exactly what's coming when I'm watching a movie. Either my intuition was off or this movie is brilliant. From what I can tell, it's the latter.

What I really do want to talk about is the shots. Every single shot was gorgeous. There was not one piece of the movie that I couldn't see as a gorgeous photograph. The movie is more then a mysterious thriller, it is a mysterious thriller with beauty. Every shot was more beautiful and elegant then the one before it.

My favorite shots were at the lake. True, the area is already naturally beautiful so it shouldn't be that hard to capture a beautiful shot. But while it's easy to capture a beautiful image when it's already naturally pretty, it's not easy to capture a beautiful image that really makes you feel. I gave me a tang in the stomach very similar to the one I feel when looking at Monet's Water Lilies .